Sunday, October 11, 2015

Antidote to the State of the World

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. 

Recently I have been despairing about the state of our world. There are so many concerns...the environment, the breakdown of systems and ethical codes, human greed, the political state of the world... all that is unknowable and uncontrollable. Everywhere I look there is so much suffering, and I feel undone in the face of it. At times I feel that I can actually see through the world illusion to the fundamental randomness and chaos of life. Everything constantly shifts and changes and slips away. It is terrifying to confront this and realize that all that I once clung to as safe and secure is false and that there is in fact nothing in the physical world that is secure enough to cling to.

                                  Chaos rules!       (

I can sustain this knowledge of chaos only so long before I look for comfort, and invariably, in those times I look to the natural world. Yes, there is randomness and constant change there too, but at least there is no illusion that it is otherwise. This is how it always was and always will be. In a way that I do not understand, the simple reality of sun, wind, sky, and the solidity of the earth ground me in what is essential. In nature it is enough to have food, water, warmth and sleep. All else falls away and I can let go of rumination and fear and just breathe in and out and take my place with the rest of the animals on the planet. 

Being in Banámichi has become my personal escape into nature. Here there is no incessant hum of traffic, no police helicopters flying over our house at all hours to remind me of the chaos. Here, at night, the milky way streams across the sky, and the sounds come from cows, sheep, turkeys, horses, roosters (and the occasional Saturday night fiesta.) I settle into a more basic way of being and focus on simply living in the present.

Digging the work!
So, now the summer inferno has burned itself out, and the days are glorious...pleasantly warm and dry. After the mine spill and the subsequent water shortage last year, everything has settled back down to almost normal. Time for gardening again! I enjoy the physicality of digging over the plots and renewing the soil. It takes me out of the despair of the mind and into the simple reality of flexing and moving. Then there is the raking and smoothing and gently placing the seeds into furrows. All the while I rejoice in the sunlight on my skin, the freshness of the air, the smell of the warm earth, and the anticipation of the harvest, still several months away. Despair for the world dissipates as I focus on the simple
physical action of providing food for out bodies.

Peach jam
Food is nature, and food is fundamental to existence. Whatever else is happening, there is the need to prepare food and eat. And now, there are more peaches to be harvested, and jam to be made.

Mud oven under construction (2011)
My wood-fired adobe oven has been sitting unused for too long. I have been wanting to try using the entire heat cycle of the oven to cook multiple dishes. At 3PM I start the fire. The fragrant mesquite smoke swirls out the door and up the chimney as the thick adobe of the oven heats up over the next 3 hours.It will need to hold the heat all night. By 6 PM the interior of the oven is at 700 degrees Fahrenheit. Perfect for pizza! 

I try a new slow fermented dough recipe and make homemade sau
ce from Sam Marzano tomatoes. The result is the best pizza I have ever made! There is also one with pesto for our friend Tracy.!

After making the pizzas, the oven has cooled enough to slide a couple of loaves of whole wheat bread onto the hearth. They also emerge perfectly brown and crispy. When they are done, the pot of soaked pinto beans goes in and the door is shut for the night. In the morning they are tender and ready to use. The temperature in the oven is still 150 degrees!

Wood-fired bread
When despair for the world grows in me, I crave the simplicity of life in Banámichi.There, I can rest for a time in the natural processes of life so that when I get sucked back into the whirlwind in Tucson again, I have a sense of perspective. After this contact with physical and natural essence, I can look the chaos of life in the eye, see it for what it is, carry on in spite of it.

PS...Nature has provided us with a feral kitten under our woodpile. May this little one have a decent life!

Sweet kitty